If you're caring for someone living with dementia, you've likely already learned that the goal of a shared activity isn't really about the activity itself — it's about the time together, the sense of ease, and the small moments of connection that come along the way. What works well changes from person to person, and often from day to day. This isn't a checklist to get through; it's a set of starting points to try, adapt, or set aside as needed.
Activities rooted in something a person already knows tend to feel more comfortable than something entirely new. Music from their young adulthood, a deck of cards if they were a lifelong card player, family photos, or a simple task drawn from a job or hobby they once had — these carry familiarity that reduces the pressure of "getting it right," because there's less to figure out from scratch.
It's easy to unintentionally rush an activity, especially if it feels like it should be simple. Try to let the person set the pace, even if that means an activity takes far longer than it "should," or ends earlier than planned. If frustration or confusion starts to show, that's a natural signal to gently shift to something else — not a sign that the activity failed.
Games can absolutely be part of this, as long as the framing stays light. A memory-matching game with a small number of cards, sorting objects by color, or a simple picture-based activity can offer a pleasant sense of accomplishment — but it works best when there's no pressure around winning, timing, or "getting it right." On this site, our Matching Pairs game and Sort by Color are both designed with exactly this kind of low-pressure play in mind, with no timer unless you choose one.
Not every meaningful activity needs to be a "game" at all. Folding laundry together, sorting buttons or coins, tending a plant, or simple coloring can all provide the same kind of calm, purposeful engagement — sometimes more successfully than anything screen-based, particularly later in the day when energy and focus are often lower. Our Coloring Pad is one option built specifically to be gentle and open-ended, with real brush types and no goal to complete.
Restlessness, frustration, repeated questions about how to do something, or simply looking away are all reasonable cues that it's time to wind down or switch to something else entirely — perhaps just sitting together, or stepping outside for a moment. There's no need to push through; ending an activity early because it's no longer landing well is not a failure, it's responsive caregiving.
Whatever the activity, the measure of success isn't whether a puzzle got finished or a game was "won" — it's whether the time felt pleasant. A smile, a moment of recognition, or simply calm shared presence is the actual goal. It's worth reminding yourself of that, especially on days when nothing seems to go the way you planned.
If you're looking for a place to start, these tend to work well as shared, low-pressure activities: